over figgy toast
Me: Heather wants to borrow Little Poppies so she can paint Big Poppies. Yay! Go Big Poppy!
Alain: Is that a sports thing?
Jeremy: Yeah, maybe baseball?
Alain: I know as much about baseball as you know about cricket.
Me: What, nothing?
Alain: We lost the Ashes!
Jeremy: That was careless! Where did you have them last?
Alain: Not me, the Australian team.
Me: Can they retrace their steps?
Alain: By the way, you have leprosy.
Me: Sunburn.
Jeremy: From when we went bike riding.
Me: I was pulling off these sheets of skin and offering them to Jeremy.
Alain: Ew!
Me: He said: “Thanks! I’ll make a – No, I won’t say it.” I said: “What? A tiny me? A tiny penis?” He said: “I don’t want to say.” I said: “I will love you no matter what!” He said: “A lampshade.” I said: “EW NO BAD NO UNSAY IT.”
Jeremy: So now it’s been said again.
Me: “YOU ARE BAD AND SHOULD FEEL BAD GET OUT.”
Alain, to Jeremy: You should have gone with the Mini-Me.
Jeremy: A tiny wife!
Me: Poor Little, Poor Little Rachel.
Jeremy: Like Keira Knightley. Remember what Patrick said about her?
Me: “She is so wee!” You could keep her in your pocket.
Alain: Lose her in your pocket lint.
Me: How careless! Can you retrace your steps?