Kathryn: I read your blog but lately it’s just poetry.

R: Yes. Well. The best thing about studying English is…

Mark: Ooh, this oughta be good.

R: …is that the poems stay with you.

Big: That’s worth four years of your life?

R: Six. Well, okay, the best thing about studying English is spending six years doing no work at all and drinking on two continents, all at your parents’ expense.

Mark: That’s what you do now.

Big: Yes, but she’s paying for it.

R: Good point. The second best thing about studying English is getting a job where you don’t have to do much work and you can fund your own drinking. The third best thing about studying English is, no wait, it’s that I get to mock Colin for saying “gifted us with” instead of “gave us”.

Big: Still don’t see why that’s wrong.

R: It just is. Trust me. Anyway. The fourth best thing about studying English, but it’s still good, okay? Is that you get to keep the poems.

Mark: That’s nice, dear.

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