stanley hammer, esq
We put all the Ikea furniture together using a cheap pair of pliers to bang in the nails. I’d try to do this, then hit my thumb and whine, so Jeremy ended up having to do most of it. That’s why, after my doctor’s appointment today, I stopped by Soko Hardware in Japantown and bought their very finest hammer: the Stanley AntiVibe One-Piece Forged Steel Curved Claw Nail Hammer. As Faith the Evil Slayer once said, It’s a thing of beauty, chief.
The elderly Japanese lady who helped me with my purchase asked when I’m due, and when I said two weeks, she narrowed her eyes and said:
“She’s moved down already though, yes?”
…which, seeing as the doctor had just told me so, impressed me greatly. In accordance with proverb, they Know Things, these Old Wives.
Back to the hammer. I tied it with a cheery bow. Jeremy’s decided to keep the bow until it gets annoying, which will probably be the first time he tries to bang a thing.
Yay for Ikea, anyway. After six months spent trailing the other pregnant and freshly infanted couples around the Emeryville store, we finally have our custom array of ingenious Swedish storage solutions installed. There are now designated places for ten years’ worth of photographs, five years’ worth of New Scientist, Jeremy’s techno-trousers, my endlessly accumulating books, all Claire’s worldly goods. There’s a shelf to hang our stainless steel cookware from and an ickle dishwasher that is the joy of my heart. The apartment is tidy and highly functional. It feels… shipshape.
